Finals Week Trend 3: the "crash" diet

You start to write your paper, but its just not working. So what do you do? Duh, any cheetah girl knows that solution, find as much vyvanse or adderall as possible. Most cheetahs are already prescribed, how the hell else am I supposed to stay ano? (did you really think it was that ez?)

It's the perfect accessory to make you a hot commodity this week, your contact info will get passed around faster than you can say "are my hands shaking?" I meannnn, how else are you going to get any social contact cooped up in Clough or Palmer? But remember to dress for the occasion, yep, I'm talking sweatpantz.

T-shirt: Pike Christmas Formal 2009 Sweatpants: Victoria's Secret Pink Collection Scarf: Old Navy

Taking Rhodes by storm, this outfit highlights both of your party sides: that formal you attended, and the assets that got you the invitation.

Lacking the foundations to hold up the elastic? You're in luck. Finals make a fatass  a change in eating patterns totally socially acceptable. Would I be caught getting a grande iced caramel macchiato (okay fine, venti) any other time?

Check it: Papa Johns pizza, and not 1 but 2 NONDIET cokes. Can you say all time low? 

Its okay, no one said it was easy to put off work until the night before. You can only be cracked out for so long before the crash, when binge eating strikes (exhibit A: Lindsey Lohan or Khloe Kardashian). However, cheetahz, remember this is temporary. It will cause major skin damage, but we have weekly facials for that.

At least we're burning calories by committing the social suicide of carrying our own books. This week, its allowed, I mean we have been chasing with water all semester...
[ #i'mhydrating,notcountingcalories! ;) ]. So blame your bitchy mood on the ADD meds, not the girl next to you that wont stfu, and fix it with some serious comfort food (for all of our sakes).

The World Does Revolve Around Me

If this blog has offended you in any way, sorry i'm not sorry, because, well, it should. It's based on adding comedy to the already apparent stereotypes of college girls and the way they portray themselves through social media outlets. Please, excuse me for commenting on your nike shorts. Don't act like its some bitchy remark based solely on you, because half of Rhodes wear them on a daily basis. 

Has no one seen betches? Clearly the world does not revolve around just you. This is not meant to single out any certain person, its supposed to be ironic and hilarious. How can no one see the comedic relief? Did you just turn into Stevie Wonder or something? 

Apologiezzzz (this is actually sincere) if you are offended, but if you are then DON'T LOOK AT IT. LiKE OmGgGgG!! 


Nobody likes a Raven Simone, did no one watch the drama she created in the Cheetah girlz with her self-centered ego? Although, Its all about me, I will be self centered, and everyones entitled to my opinion, so of course I will say it. I did put my thing down, flipped it, and reversed it. 


Take a lesson from bad bitch Rihanna and say fuck it!

Finals Week Trend 2:Rage

Trying to blow off steam and leave that study room that you've inhabited and turned so gross? Instead of pretending that we all are unaware of your shaking table, hidden computer screen, and blanket, please, do us all a favor and find another outlet for your stress. The perfect way to do that is to rage. How else will you get the courage to text that guy you secretly hate, but love? Or to confront that rude bitch who stole your style, i mean i'm the only one who can wear that much glitter.  

Rhodes Rage Code:
1. Be effortless, no one wants to be around that bitch who is trying to hard. I mean we all can see that you're not fooling anyone with your staged sluttiness or ditsyness. Also you can't take the limelight away from me, so please just stop trying. 


2. Dress appropriately. Instead of going to urban outfitters to get a dress think twice. Do you really want to be seen in the same dress as every other sorostitute? I mean did no one see what happened at Homecoming tailgaiting?... Awkward....but then again, we all do love those who wore it better photo shoots. Another think to consider, when thinking about your clothing options you must be able to think about your dance moves. 
Like:  is this going to  rip when i drop it low? Do I have full mobility in these pants? Just some questions to consider. 
Lastly think about what you're drinking before you choose some tight skanky little dress. No one wants to see a girl drinking beer and think, w8 isn't she going to harm her baby?


3. Be a crazy bitch. Everyone loves to see those girls that just go crazy with two sips of alcohol. Disclaimer this isn't real sorostitutes of rhodes ladies, so please don't get all real housewives on us. cat fights are so last season. 
By crazy bitch we mean embody the girl that sets the stage for other rage techniques. 
-Drink lots of alcohol, take shots like a champ, dance wherever and on whatever you want, and don't be afraid to let yourself shine. I mean everyone does love those poses you did in all those pics and was impressed with those dance moves.  Lets be honest, we all love to talk about rage trendsetters. rarrr. 


4. Take your anger out on the dancefloor. Feeling angry? Instead of punching that bitch that stole the last pair of tory burch flats right out of your hand during the store blowout sale, show her up in dance off. Nothing will beat the satisfaction of having her look like a dumb fool when everyone is staring at you. 


5. Don't eat until after the rage. Since you're only slightly anorexic, this will not prove hard. Not only will you fit into your black bodycon dress from Am Ap, but you will get drunk easily and be able to transform into that crazy bitch in rule 3. 


6. Wear the tallest heels possible. Nothing will prove your power than dominating over your little minions and that frat star you hooked up with when you were blackout. Another plus is that they will make your calf muscles look banging and slim your legs like no other. If you really want to enhance your anorexic frame, wear nude heels.


7. Accessorize. Rage accessories are the only thing you should worry about if you really are trying to rage like me. No one wants to watch the sunrise without little helpers. Plus having tons of supplies will make everyone want to talk to you. Can you say instant popularity?


Here are some victims that proved their rage worth:

Jacket: Guess Dress:Urban Outfitters Food:Taco Bell

This victim is so trending right now, she represents all of the rules above, well except that urban dress, but luckily there were no catfights. Her leopard coat screams, "Yeah I'm a rich bitch and I rock it". In addition, its just SO TRENDY and also shows that she's a sassy bitch, rawrrr. Victim 1 definitely followed rules 5 and 7, I mean Taco Bell really is the ultimate accessory. Its okay if you were so drunk that you passed TB 3x's, it was worth it. 

Disclaimer: We couldn't put the victims face, because well we all know that no one wants to look like they eat. 

Jacket: mink Beer:Shiner 

This rager shows that everyone loves to accessorize and keep it classy. Seriously though, no one wants to go to a party with a gross natty light keg, ewww, do they not have standards? I mean clearly looking at the way they dress. Fur is the new staple of androgynous wardrobes, and our victim has set that trend. I mean of course I only hang out with those people. Can you rock fur as well as him? Also note that this rager has a classy, glass cup, not some dumb solo cup or tervis tumbler. 




Raging will give you an excuse to get out of those god awful nike shorts and uggs you've been wearing and actually look like a real presentable human being. So before your trip to the Bahamas or St. Barts (because every rich bitch goes somewhere warm for christmas), take a lesson from us by following this code. And always remember,this isn't an episode of toddlers and tiaras, contrary to popular belief, no one wants to see a barbie doll. Everyone, however, does want to see a ragin' crazy bitch.  

You'll never find me

This is one secret I'll never tell

Finals week trend 1: chain smoking

Nothing makes an entry like bursting through the cloud of smoke lingering at the back doors of the Barret Library during finals week. The vague scent of stale American Spirits permeating the library as you walk by is sure to get attention, and if not, the resulting coughs that break the silence of jealous nerds surely will. If there's one time to pick up the habit, it's definitely finals week at Rhodes College.

cigarette: Marlboro Gold, before they went on sale. ring: judith ripka. nails: Sally Hansen

Whether you need an excuse for a study break, a reason to talk to that cute, mysterious, hairy guy on the bench, or just a scent to hide your b.o. from the all nighter you just pulled, cigarettes are your answer. New to the idea? Don't worry, bumming can be a great way to make new friends, or enemies (every true cheetah girl needs both if you wanna keep up with the times). Just don't forget to incorporate the appropriate accessories! Sally Hansen makes beautiful, dazzling nail polish that you can pick up at any elite drug store, and a giant jeweled ring makes the perfect statement: "I have enough money to pay for diamonds, and this little habit I just can't kick." It's also a great conversational piece-- from degrading the pledges at Pike parties to drawing a connection to the tortured artists on the porch of house parties. And, after all, black is the new pink, and a true fashionista will apply that to everything she wears, including her lungs. 

Cooling down or warming up? what's your color choice?

Girls only blogs are...well lets face it... boring. 

I mean, who else can look as good as me? Kate moss scratch that one, she's too mainstream. 


Last night I was walking into the middle ground to take a break and out of the corner of my eye I saw a broody, dark boy sulking behind his computer in the corner. What more could I ask for, I mean I've already been through the frat scene well, one too many times around the lot if you ask me. So when I saw this boy I just had to take his picture. Of course the middle ground was the ultimate source, the checkered floors just scream HIP. Also the florescent lighting, I mean ladiez, you don't even have to use your hipstamatic or instagram to get that yellow glow. All this being said, I mean HELLO, why wouldn't you hang out here.


This victim proved to be the ultimate hipster, I mean he was even following the color trends set by our first victims, blue, the ultimate winter color. Who needs white? You're just going to spill your skinny latte on it or smear your Dior Lipstick on it somehow. Also, look at those apple products, so hip, I mean have you seen their new commercial? These are some secrets I will tell. 

Jacket:American Apparel Polo:Vintage Glasses:Warby Parker 

This Victim embodies hip. When will you? If you ever feel so compelled to be victimized, come find me. Of course due to my immediate popularity I won't reveal my sources, but don't worry I will be watching. 

working hard or hardly working?

Finals week got you stressed? Here's a photo of two memfamous trendsetters that you can live vicariously through.

note the vitamin water, very similar to the one Lilly was drinking on the last season of Gossip Girl. so vintage.
Feeling self conscious yet? Her secret: the minimizer bra. It could turn a gay guy straight. Even Rick Perry approves of this message.